Drawing on two studies of children aged between seven and 10 years this article explores their narratives of themselves, families, sibling and peer relationships. Their narratives were full of push-pull and contradictory processes. The children moved towards knowledge as well as a disavowal of ‘reality’ about their families and material conditions. Critically they revealed profound wishes for something better alongside the knowledge that ‘this is it’. This article focuses on theorizing children's understandings of and relationships to social and material life (...) in order to argue that meanings matter and meanings have matter. Narratives are social in two critical ways: they involve reaching out and connecting with others, and narratives are constructed within and through the social sphere, while simultaneously they are shot through with conscious and unconscious fantasies. Children are moving towards being in a complex – engaged in and inhabiting many relationships. (shrink)